How to Do Good to a Fellow Hacker and His Wayward Balls

I don’t know what you were thinking but every good, er, bad golfer knows exactly what this post is about.

How do you do good by a fellow hacker who’s ball has gone seriously wayward?

Going Wayward in Silicon Valley

I will give some very practical answers to that question but first a bit of a story.

I live in Silicon Valley. So, what? Right? Right.

I was walking down one of the main drags – on my left was a Lowe’s. No biggie. On my right was one of Apple’s new campuses – the Fidget Spinner Campus we call it. This shape of this building may have been a big enough distraction to cause our hacker, golfing not coding type, to make his misstep. Who knows why golfers hit balls where they do? Right?

Do Good Fellow Hacker
Do Good Fellow Hacker

As I passed the Apple campus, I came upon a Bank of America on my left sitting next to an Indian / Chinese / Japanese / Russian / Vietnamese fusion kind of restaurant. I think it’s a restaurant but it may be a dating site for the other kind of hacker – coding not golfing type.

 

Look! In the Bushes!

Wayward Ball Near Apple Campus

There! In the bushes was a golf ball! No kidding!

Laugh if you want but apparently my camera aim is about as good as my golf swing aim.

I am pretty sure I thought the big flower was the ball when I took the picture. I didn’t have my glasses on. Still … you can see the ball … half of it anyway.

I picked the ball up and brought it with me … to work. That’s what I tell my wife I am doing when I go to the coffee shop each morning.

It’s not a lie, per se. In the course of 6-8 hours in a bakery I can actually get something done that might be called work if I think about it hard enough. It sure is work to not eat so many cookies, or muffins or croissants or cinnamon rolls or …

How to Tell When you Have a Good Lie

I am pretty sure the guy who hit the ball that landed in the bushes told his wife he was going shopping at the above mentioned Lowe’s (It takes a couple of hours to find anything there), then stopped by the bank on his way to get some money and finally pick up take out from the Asian-Fusion restaurant. It could explain why he was gone for several hours. Right? Right!

The first thing I thought when I saw the ball was Lewis – another Do Gooder – must be around here somewhere. Then I remembered that is what he would think about me if he found a ball in such a place. I am easily confused.

Wayward Ball Looks for Home
Wayward Ball Looks for Home

I looked at the ball more closely when I got to the coffee shop and noticed there was a W on it. That really didn’t help until I realized that if I turned it around it could be an M!

That must mean Mitch – another Do Gooder – must certainly be around.

But, he’s a fisherman.

Fishermen are a lot like golfers. They lie, too. Tenuous as it may be, there’s a connection there somewhere if a person tries hard enough.

The nearest golf course to this ball is, I am not making this up, 2.4 miles away!

Doing Good for Our Hacker Friend

Here’s where a big problem for our hacker comes in.

Does he tell anyone that the longest a ball he has ever hit once traveled 2.4 miles or does he keep his mouth shut?

And if he does tell, how can we help him?

If he’s a preacher and he’s telling his congregation, we must NOT tell those around us the TRUTH about the real WAY his ball came to LIFE to travel so far. Let him answer to God. God will do a really good job of straightening things out in the end.

If he’s telling other hackers … well, nobody cares. Let him have fun as we all smile knowingly.

But if he’s going to tell his wife … by all means, stop him before he starts. Tell him rather to show her the Lowe’s bag, the money withdrawn from the ATM and surprise her with a night off from cooking with the dinner he brought home.

1 thought on “How to Do Good to a Fellow Hacker and His Wayward Balls”

  1. That ball is a Top Flite, so it wouldn’t have been mine. Mitch is a possibility, but he hasn’t been in California for a long enough time that I’m doubting him.
    What about this? A couple of hackers (golf, not coding) at Apple Fidget Spinner Campus chipping their way around the outskirts during a lunch break, and one of their balls escapes. (Golf balls do that, you know.)
    But I love the ending you wrote to the story, and hope it’s true!

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