Is There A Problem Here?

Just the other day I came home from a very full day of work and was informed by my wife, who knows these kinds of things, that the electronic lock on our front door was no longer working electronically. That information came with an unspoken request: Would you fix that, please?

Although those words were not said aloud, I heard them. Thirty minutes later, with the excellent help of a support person named Josh, my phone-a-friend and I had the faulty lock working again.

Three days before that we had noticed a sound from a toilet that seemed like it was coming from a faulty fill valve. I picked up one of those puppies, and the next morning I began the installation process before heading out the door. Yes, I did turn off the water to the toilet. And yes, I did put a bucket underneath the closed valve, just in case there was a drip.

When I returned home several hours later, the bucket was full but had failed to contain all the water that had dripped into it. I knew that had happened when I stepped barefoot into a closet, where a fair amount of that water had seeped under the adjoining wall and been absorbed by the carpet.

That fix (a compression ring behind the valve!) turned out to be far more complex than was the lock, but both of them deserve a sticky note. What I mean by that is this: I imagine walking around our house and putting a sticky note on everything I have fixed. The house is not that old, but a single pad of sticky notes would not suffice.

Isn’t that what we do with so many things in our lives? We are fixers.

Three errors in fixing stuff

Over the years I’ve discovered three common errors when it comes to fixing stuff. You might assume — correctly — that I discovered all of these errors by making them. Repeatedly. Perhaps writing this down will help both of us in the future!

The first error is fixing the wrong thing. That obviously happened with the toilet repair mentioned above. A new fill valve was not needed, although this one is better. Fixing something that isn’t broken is fairly common when we have a little knowledge and allow that to distract us.

The second error is to fix the thing wrong. I was playing golf with a former PGA Tour winner when I hit a shot toward the green that landed short. He asked, “Did you hit the wrong club?” I said, “No, I hit the club wrong.” He might have said, “You need to use more club,” but he wisely asked a question and laughed at my answer. The club didn’t need to be fixed or changed, the swing did.

I’ve done that with fluids (WD40 does not actually fix everything), with screws, and with saws. I almost always made some progress, but the initial fault was still there. This was good assessment with poor craftsmanship. These days I realize that I need to work slower and generally with more instruction.

The third error is fixing too much and, in the process, making things potentially worse.

I taught tennis professionally, and was even certified to do so by the United States Professional Tennis Association. It was no small feat to pass their test, but pass it I did. Not long after that I gave a lesson to a beginner student. She was supposed to be with me for 30 minutes, but I kept her on court for an hour. I was a new teacher, and I think I told her everything I knew about tennis in that hour. The fact that she did not practice her overhead smash on my noggin was a tribute to her gentle and forbearing spirit.

By contrast, the best teaching pros watch the most and tell you the least. I eventually got there, but it was a long hike. And I still fall into the trap of believing more strongly than I should in the power of lots of information.

Fixing people

You may not be a handyman or handywoman around the house, and you may not be a teaching professional, but you might still have an interest in fixing people. Because, you know, there are a lot of people out there who really need to be fixed!

When it comes to turn signals in cars, I tend to believe that it is the driver who needs to be fixed and not the actual turn signal. If it is turning right on red when there are three signs directly in front of you that say “No Right Turn on Red,” I am 100% sure that the signs do not need to be rewritten or repositioned. But I can’t fix those drivers. Fixing people is a very different kettle of fish than fixing things.

Back to the “fixing things” for just a moment. Psychologist Albert Bandura noted that there are people who have a personality trait he called self-efficacy. Those who have a strong sense of self-efficacy are generally not afraid to try to fix things, even if they don’t know how.

Fixing people, though, is nothing at all like fixing things. Other than professional counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists, trying to “fix” people is not a recommended way to do good.

Before you take a stab at trying to fix someone, take another look at those three errors we make in fixing things: we fix the wrong thing, the wrong way, and we try to fix too much. Do those with a toilet and you might end up with a plumbing bill. Do those with a person and you might deeply damage a life.

If you want to help someone, do good by introducing them to a counselor or to Jesus, and by praying for them and listening to them. Leave the rest of it to the professionals.

And now I’m off to bed so I can be fresh enough in the morning to fix something I’m good at fixing: breakfast.

Do good. It’s in you!