When Christmas Is A Challenge

“Challenge” is one of those words that has elasticity. It isn’t quite Gumby, but like Gumby, who is made of clay, you can stretch it, you can bend it, you can even mold it into a meaning that fits the difficulty you are facing.

And so it is that Christmas — “the most wonderful time of the year” — is a challenge for many.

I’ll just jump right in at the deep end and note that for many families this year, someone will be missing. One of the most well known of those will be the Kirk family of Arizona. The husband, Charlie, died in September. Erika and their children will, I am confident, still celebrate the birth of Jesus. They will do that without the man I can easily imagine dressing up as Santa Claus and, with the help of his outsized and infectious personality, making the season amazingly joyful.

The family and friends of my long time and dear friend Steve will miss him in the same ways. He already had the white beard, after all, so Santa-Steve was a slam dunk for him. Thinking about him now, I can imagine him as the perfect combination of Santa and the Grinch, and that makes me smile.

Other friends I know, as well as friends of yours, will also be missing someone this year. Maybe they have departed this earth, or maybe they’re still on earth but in a faraway place. Christmas becomes a reminder for many of the challenge of separation, because it is a time when we normally come together.

I’ve been through my share of those “first Christmas without” experiences. They are always a bit poignant, and sometimes downright painful.

But there is another side to consider.

This Road Is Long

Many years ago Gary Dugan (music) and I (book and lyrics) wrote and produced a musical on the life of Jesus. Naturally some of that was about the events surrounding his birth — the reason for Christmas.

One of my favorite songs in the musical is in that part and is called This Road Is Long. The lyrics consider events that are included in the story of Jesus’ birth from three perspectives: Mary, the mother of Jesus; the Magi (wise men) who traveled a long, long way to get there; and the innkeeper, who was about to be overwhelmed with business because the Super Bowl was being held in Bethlehem. Actually it was a census, but it had the same effect.

(The song is inserted below.)

If you listen carefully, you will notice a subtle reference to Jesus in each of the three verses and choruses, but what is obvious in each is the hope they feel. All of them say “this road is long, this road is hard,” but they also all say, “but the answer to our prayers is on the way.”

The difficulty is recognized, but it is not the focal point. The challenge is a consequence of a journey, and the answer is found both in the journey and in the final destination. Resolve is called upon, and the challenge, however difficult, will not stop Mary and Joseph; it will not stop the Magi; and it will not stop the innkeeper. Each will stay the course, and the answer will be found in the seeking and the finding. The ultimate answer, of course, is Jesus.

Your long road, and mine

No one goes through this life for very many years with very many dreams who does not experience challenges along the way. The challenge of having challenges is the temptation to compare our challenges to those experienced by others. It really can’t be done.

None of us should ever say to another, for instance, “My challenges are greater.” And almost never should we say, “I know how you feel,” which is like saying your challenges are the same. Of course we all have said that, in hopes of bringing encouragement and comfort, but we were probably wrong.

Still, it is a very good thing to recognize when others are suffering as a result of a challenge or are struggling to get through a difficult time. We tend to be less sensitive to that in seasons like Christmas, because we assume that in the happiest time of the year everyone is happy.

If you are naturally empathetic, you might notice some holiday sadness in others. If you are less empathetic, you’ll have to work harder to see that something might be amiss.

Who knows when these challenges will move into our lives, and how long they will stay with us? The Magi took off on a road trip following a star. How long would they be on the road? They didn’t know.

Because you have experienced challenges, though, know that others might be dealing with them now. Still, be joyous in this season of celebration, because “the answer to our prayers is on the way.”

Joy in the midst of sorrow

A few months ago there was a nationally televised memorial service for Turning Point founder Charlie Kirk, mentioned above. My wife and I watched it on television, but a number of my friends attended in person. Everyone said — in person or watching on TV — that it was an uplifting time of joy in the midst of sadness.

That is a common experience for Christian attenders at the funeral or memorial service for another Christian. Hope is also shared by many who are not Christians but still believe in heaven. The sadness resides in the separation. The joy lives in the sure and certain belief that the separation is only temporary.

So this Christmas, notice those who are challenged. Lift them up in prayer. But do not get stuck in your own challenges, because they are only part of the journey. The destination is Christmas — the birth of Jesus. Regardless of circumstances, that is worthy of our celebration.

Do good. It’s in you!!

(Lyrics can be found by clicking here.)