Stop this and have a better life, guaranteed

Even if you don’t think Jesus was a prophet, you’ll have to agree that this statement he made has come true: “In the world you will have tribulation.”

Tribulation isn’t a word we use much these days, so to make sure you get the point Jesus was making, here are some synonyms from my online Thesaurus: worry, anxiety, burden, cross to bear, affliction, ordeal, trial, adversity, hardship, tragedy, trauma, setback, difficulty, blow, problem, misfortune, bad luck.

The list goes on, but by now you’ve found one or two ways you have experienced some part of life. You might even have had “a run of bad luck.” It’s a phrase I’ve heard far more often than “a run of good luck.”

Part of the reason for that is this: when good things happen to us, we have a tendency to accept them without comment. Perhaps we think that is the way things are supposed to be. Maybe we think we deserve them. That can happen, by the way, even if you give God the credit. Generally, though, we are as quiet as the proverbial church mouse.

Here is an example from regular people playing a regular round of golf. You’ll get it, even if you’ve never touched a golf club.

One player hits a shot toward the green (the target). The ball lands short but bounces onto the green. Someone else might say, “Good shot.”

The next player hits a shot toward the same green. Their ball also lands short, but instead of bouncing onto the green it bounces to the left and into trouble.

Now you are likely to hear the term “bad bounce” spoken out loud. It will most likely be spoken with a high degree of emotion. In question form, it could be, “Did you see that bounce!?!? That was horrible!” It might even be punctuated in real life by the slamming of a club into the ground. Emphasis is often important when we have something to complain about.

Celebrating and…

Just this past Sunday, PGA Tour member J. J. Spaun won a “major” golf tournament, the United States Open. It was a thrilling victory, and his final shot was incredible — a 65 foot putt. (The odds of that putt being made by a professional are less than 1 in 100. Based on those conditions, I’d say his odds were more like 1 in 200.)

There was a grand celebration by the player and his caddie, and even the crowd. But they weren’t celebrating the individual shot, they were celebrating the victory. As well they should.

Occasionally a golfer will hole a shot — a hole in one, for instance — and celebrate. But bad shots bring out the emotions much, much faster. Ask me how I know, as the saying goes.

Speaking of which, at least two professional golfers in that same tournament — both of whom had previously won the U. S. Open — responded quite badly to their tribulations. One of them failed to make the cut by a single shot (he only got to play the first two days of the four day event) and took it out on two of the lockers in the clubhouse of the historic club where the tournament was held.

That kind of complaining is often justified as having been caused by frustration. I get it. Though a locker was never involved, I’ve “vented my frustration” after having been visited by some tribulation.

But I learned years ago that such behavior is simply non-verbal communication to everyone around that you have failed in some way. Does it make them sympathetic? No, it makes them cringe.

The secret to success

As if, of course, there was a single secret. But one character trait that is shared by many successful people, is this: They don’t complain.

Do they not have tribulation? You bet they do. Let’s just go back to that fellow we quoted earlier, Jesus. His tribulation is widely known, and by almost any measure it was as bad as tribulation gets — especially if you consider his complete innocence.

Charles Spurgeon said, “Jesus wept, but he never complained.” Personally that had not occurred to me before I came across Spurgeon’s quote, but it humbles me.

Staying in the heavenly realm, Nick Vujicic said, “I have the choice to be angry at God for what I don’t have, or be thankful for what I do have.” For those of you who don’t know Nick or his story, he is the fellow in the picture at the top of this article. And yes, he was born without arms or legs. (I took this picture and was privileged to meet Nick and hear him speak. He’s the real deal.)

“Complaining not only ruins everybody else’s day, it ruins the complainer’s day, too. The more we complain, the more unhappy we get.” So said Dennis Prager in a Facebook post. Wise words.

We got a five dollar fine for whinin’. It was that line in a Chris LeDoux song called Five Dollar Fine, written by Alex Harvey, that inspired this article. It’s a song about a bar with basically one important rule: a five dollar fine for whining. We need more places with that rule, including my car.

Get rich?

Thinking about that song gave me two ideas. The first is how I get rich, and that is to impose a five dollar fine on everyone I play golf with for every complaint they make on the course, whether or not it’s about golf.

I’d give them back five if I complained, but I’ve been working on this for a while, so I’m ahead of the game.

The second, and more important idea, is something I’m now adding to our Do Good Leadership training. I’ll start here by asking you to answer two questions:

1. What was the last thing you complained about?
2. What was the last thing you were thankful for?

Stop doing the first. Start doing more of the second. Your life will be better. Guaranteed.

Do good. It’s in you!